How I have learned to love myself
Few month ago, I started writing a blog post called “Love yourself first” about how we are constantly told to “love ourselves first” in a society where we are constantly seeking approval and love everywhere except inside of us. At that stage in my life, I was just moving into a new house by myself after years of living in couple. Never have I been alone in this country. No family to run towards. Everybody was telling to enjoy this time and not to jump back too soon in another relationship. It‘s like the entire world was agreeing about the fact I needed to love my self first. I was fine with myself but why not, more self-love can’t hurt anyone! Unfortunately after few days, the only thing that was going through my head was “how many nights do I need to spend alone watching Netflix to prove the world I can take care of myself?
Love yourself and everything else will follow. It is sounds simple but how the hell do you do it? Candle light bath? Walk by the beach? Go by yourself to the movie? Is it truly the way to show the universe you can take care of yourself and give yourself the love you truly deserve? How to enjoy your time alone in a world where we are so wired to each other?
I tried the dinner box to cook for myself, new exercises classes, getting a cat, everything but still I was not feeling happy nor feeling like I suddenly love myself even more.
It took me a while to realise loving yourself does not mean you have to be alone, you can still spend time with your friends or even be in a relationship if you wish, I just think it is about taking a step back and be present in the moment.
Here’s what I have learned from those few month:
Surrender: stop fighting, stop trying to prove something to everyone, take a step back from what you usually do and chill! Forget about people and let them forget about you.
Surround yourself with the right person: Once you are done with your hibernation period, keep the friends that are worth keeping and get rid of the others. You need people in your life that love you for the amazing human being you are and that keep reminding you of it. That’s what true friends are for!
Look after your mental health: Self-Love is a muscle and it needs exercise! Talking to a psychologist or joining a group to talk about it can be what you need to stay on top of it.
Make a Home: They say home is where the heart is.Well in this case, make a home you enjoy going back to where you feel cosy and safe, is a declaration of love to yourself
Do what makes you happy: If you don’t want to start a new exercises class, don’t. Just do whatever the heck is making you happy. Other people will always have an opinion, remember they are trying to help but we don’t have to follow what they say. Just do you.
Embrace who you are: Life is too short to pretend to be someone you are not. Also, you are more likely to attract the right kind of people for yourself if you are true to your personality. Eg: Liking some kind of band you never heard of to impress people that don’t even make you feel good about yourself OR go to Taylor Swift concert with your bestie, dance, enjoy life and have a blast.
Be in the present moment: Not the past, not the future, just enjoy what’s happening right here right now.
